Just to be with you my Lord

You know that I love you
You know that I want to know you so much more
More than I have before
These words are from my heart
These words are not made up
I will live for you, I am devoted to you
King of majesty I have one desire
Just to be with you my Lord
Just to be with you my Lord
Jesus you are the savior of my soul,
And forever and ever I'll give my praises to you.

Everything is going well, and obviously someone is going to start messing it up here soon, but I will survive the valleys with God. He is amazing. I want to know him so much more, and just be with Him. There is one person that I am commited to waiting for, and that is the Savior of my Soul.
My heart is lost in New Orleans-
until later-
sarah

And I've finally found...

I've finally found that life goes on without you. At this crossroads, as I find myself losing family and friends and relationships that have meant so much to me, I know that life goes on. I don't see any of his purpose in this, but at the end of the road there is a soverign God who has worked everything out accordingly. It is encouraging to know that people care about me. My teacher, who is the last person I would imagine taking an interest in my life outside of school is asking to be let in as she is learning how much is going on. And she isn't a Christian, so I have an awesome opportunity to share with her the hope that I have in Christ, and share with her directly in words that he is my one desire and that I know he is working and is gracious and full of mercy.
And concerning the rest, someone shared a really awesome quote with me, and they know who they are. "It's better to lose your pride to the one that you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride. We spend to much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already have love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give." How true, I care, but I've finally found that life goes on with him and that God can do anything if it is in his will. And I don't want to step outside of His will and desire for my life. Thinking that I know what is best only sets me up for ruin because I can't work against His will. I'm safe from a losing fight when I trust in him.
And it will be something that only I understand, but guess what 'my heart's lost in New Orleans' and i know that is what He desires for me throughout my life.
until later-
sarah

I'll take a double-shot

i'm just sitting here, trying to figure out what to put on the first page of my friends' scrapbook. this is a hard decision. if you know me, i am slaving over this scrapbook in between homework, and am out of money, so i can't buy any more materials. that makes me sad. but hopefully the boys will like it and cherish it as long as they live. come on, it describes in words and pictures the days when they were fetuses ( i know i spelled that wrong.)
I love to take pictures for this one simple reason: to capture in essence the beauty of the moment. i cannot tell you how many good pictures i have which chronicle the past two years. and that reminds me. tommorrow, i have officially hung out with clay, denver, josh, and all of them for two stinken years. so i'm in a good mood.
what am i going to do tommorrow? well i think i am going to do homework, and eat pancakes and bacon (I LOVE TO COOK!), and then go to the lusko casa for monica's birthday. then i will proceed to meet kelli at the local starbucks and drink a huge coffee and hang out and be discipled by one of my favorite people in the world. then onto church where i get to hang out at my awesome youth group and worship and learn more about the savior of my soul. So yeah, it is jammed packed but looking exciting. i can't wait.
later-
sarah

unto the king eternal, imortal, invisible

Not the best of my poems, but it's how i feel.

Supplications brought before You,
Requests made to the one true God,
In the stillness of the night,
Or with the rising of the sun.
Known by the King eternal,
The Lord immortal,
Unto the God invisible,
A God who knows our words before we speak,
Yet still delights to hear them.
Would you delight to hear my cries?
My worries and fears in the early hours?
To break the silence and trouble your heart?
For I know that my God is one who grants grace and mercy
Continuous, and constant,
Enough to stand in spite of the pain.
He is alive in the stillness and quiet minutes of the night,
Working through me in my pain.
Who is like my God?
Taking a desolate creature and loving them everlasting?
-Sarah

I'm gonna choose to trust

guess what? i'm happy right now. i'm consumed with Him. and i'm mad at people right now. really mad but i have a part in it. not the whole part, come on each person contributes something to a problem. and yes, i do need to go to them and get it straightened out. but i will let god give me the words. it makes me unhappy that they are mad at me but god is a jealous god and when i commit a lot of my time to other things like dealing with this, he is unhappy and has to whack me up the side of the head and say 'sarah i love you! more than anyone ever could! and you can't change anything i am doing by worrying or being unhappy. i can put you out of your misery if you would let me be the only lover of your soul.' he is teaching me how amazing he is, and how insignificant i am. oh, i keep having this terrible feeling but 'jesus, you are the savior of my soul. and forever and ever i'll give my praises to you.'
August evenings Bring solemn warnings To remember to kiss the ones you love goodnight You never know what temporal days may bring So laugh, love, live free and sing When life is in dischord Praise ye the lord
later,
sarah

bowling ball

you need that boy like a bowling ball dropped on your head, which means not at all.
i think its great when we have times to step back and look at our relationships. i had the opportunity this weekend to challenge a girl in my youth group to look what a relationship was doing to her relationship with Christ. did she hear everything i said? probably not, i think she was still in shock, but it was kind of back on me in a sense. i had the opportunity to be like 'yeah, i want to be the girl that guy wants. when the time is right and god's hand is on it.' but i know i just won't magically be her. i have certain things that i need to formulate in my own life before i can be that girl. so i made a list of the different qualities that i am looking for in a guy, and then placed them on myself. well, i have a ways to go.
Integrity- he has to be honest about everything. with others and me.
Deep, Growing relationship with Christ-if he is not growing and is not solidly based, how can he be expected to lead our family? how can he be expected to draw me close to God?
Love Him more than anything-will he place Christ before me? if i love Jesus more than anything, i will be able to deeply love my spouse.
Same Priorities-if his priorities are out of place how will he somehow magically get them together? do we agree on the important issues that will define our relationship and life?
Parental Relationships-do they get along? how does he treat them? i will be the closest person in his life, they are now. he will treat me like he treats them.
Friends-who are they? what do they show about who he is? and how he acts when i'm not around?
its a question we must all ask
until later,
sarah

no regrets

this is how the story goes. so my teacher is somewhat unhappy with me, and so i am in a crappy mood thus, i was joking with my aunt that i should start to plan my funeral. well i did and it was actually pretty funny. i was telling her who got what when i die. like rachel and hannah get my bottle caps, shealeen gets my pink relient k shirt and her scrapbooks, josh gets all of my scrapbook stuff for if he ever decides to actually sit down and scrapbook, kristen gets to take anything she wants, clay gets lucy the hacky sack and of course emery-the question, after my clothes lose my scent, take them to mexico, give all of my cds to kristen or kirsi, let the boys divide all of my photos among themselves, divvy out the boxes underneath my bed to each rightful person, kristen gets all of my books, and i think my parents should have everyone sign my hi-tops at my funeral. donate all of my stuff to mexico, have bob church do my funeral, donovan and molly have to sing, (come on these are my last wishes!), marianna gets my dog, and you know, while i want some adults to give ulogies, mostly let my friends, come on, they probably knew me better and have lots more to say. in essence, if i were to die today, my aunt would be able to tell everyone what i needed to say to them. but i really think i have said that to a lot of them. maybe not all of the time. but hey, i die with NO FEARS, NO REGRETS. i'm in christ, i have nothing to fear. you can do anything to my body, but you can't touch my soul, its in the loving hands of god.
until later,
sarah