It's been a while since I've really wrote on here. I suppose that is because I don't really care about what has been happening much lately. I'm just numb to really care. The next four years will really mean nothing if I go to highschool.

On the better side, and probably the only good side to my life at this moment, we willbe staying with the Porters this weekend. We were going to head down there on a mission trip, but since everyone backed out, we are just going to head down there and stay with the Porters for the weekend.

I really love the time I get to spend with the Porters, especially Sam. I wrote this a while back in my journal. I thought I 'd share it with the rest of my private world......

If I ever have a boy, I want to name him Samuel Logan. Samuel after Sam Porter, and Logan after my cousin. Samuel means 'his name is god' or can be what it says in my bible text-'heard by god.' Logan means 'from the hollow' or 'from that which was nothing.' The names themselves have meanings that I hope my child will carry everywhere with him. But I don't want to just name my kid something because I liked the name meaning because that in itself is somewhat empty to me. I want names that remind me what I always want for my child. Logan is my brother's name. Logan has been my rock, the one I could depend on through life's storms even if he himself didn't feel that solid. He always placed my needs as a priority and I would like my son to possess that trait. Plus he is my brother--which means he would be beyond honored that I would name my son after him.

Samuel is a name that I like. Well I don't necessarily like Samuel, but I really like Sam. As I write this, I'm reading through 1st Samuel. So many of the key verses that have driven my life are derived from first Samuel, but one in specific--"And he had great success in whatever he did because the Lord was with him." That is my prayer for my son, and all I could ever want for him. So the name Samuel would remind me of that verse every time I looked at my son. But mostly, I'd like to name my son Samuel becuase of Sam Porter. He's a kid I've really grown up with the past year and a half. I'd name my son Sam because I hope that he grows up to be like Sam. Sam is mature beyond his years, even when he is the most immature kid I know. He's responsible, caring, in the Word, funny, he loves his family, and is genuine. Sam reminds me that there aren't just good guys in the world, there are great guys. I hold a high opinon of Sam, as you can tell. If my son would grow up to be like Sam, I don't think I could be any prouder........

Easter was amazing. I loved sunrise service. And I got the most amazing Easter Gift. Brigida sent me a care package. I got a watch, sweet-tarts, a pedicure set, socks, a notebook, and an awesome magnet for my board.
It was an exchange for the Blue House and pictures that I sent her.
So life has been good.