we're almost there

Do you ever have the feeling that this could be it? You could do this for the rest of your life? You could spend the rest of your life with someone? That if only God was pleased, this could be it. You could be contented? You could be satisfied? You could be poor and depend on God fully and you could be with these people and you could serve the God who desires your life? Have you ever found that placed where it’s the only place you want to be? Have you ever smiled for no reason except that you are recognizing how ironic life is? That you are recognizing how hard it is? Yet that we have a great God? That even when we are tired, we serve a God who is faithful even when we are faithless? That he gives us a beautiful hope? That He deserves our humble adoration all of the time? That he continues to come to us even when we are running in the opposite direction? That he is taking us where he wants us to be and where we want to be even if we don’t know it yet?

Even when I am in this flesh, he deserves all of me? He wants all of me? He is preparing someone out there? That he loves me enough to preserve me? He loves me enough that he doesn’t want me to falter in my relationships? That I am not directly involved because he has bigger plans for me? That he knows me well enough to know all I want is commitment? That anyone who gives it to me will be someone who can steal my heart easily? That I will be so flustered I will forget to look for what he is trying to teach me? It’s not about how I feel, it’s about how He will have me feel someday? When I stand at the alter and I look into the eyes of the one he has had waiting for me? I only know that God is making sure I am not directly involved so that I can be able to say “I waited for you and only you”? So if god has that person out there, why do I worry?

Have you ever known what it is like to not worry about that anymore? To accept Christ’s Lordship and let him do his work? If he already has the perfect person for me, why should I worry? If I am going to be fully pleased with my future husband, he is going to be the man that only God has picked out, not me. A friend said that to me a few months ago. He has somehow forgotten it, surprise, surprise. But that doesn’t mean it is not still true for me today. They as well said something that really made me think about my future husband. They said “______ is not the girl to take me to the future that the Lord is calling me down.” Are they guys I am even interested in these types of guys? Guess what, they are somewhat? I don’t know everything. I just know, I’ve found a place where I want to be. It’s a place the Lord may be calling me. And I know I will look back on this life of mine and know God was orchestrating everything from my husband, to my schooling, to my passions. We’re almost there.