...you should know me. you know you aren't going to get what's true. no one gets that...

I don't think a statement can be more true or more of a lie. I'm not lying when I say that okay is a relative term. I'm not dead, so I'm okay. But you can't just walk in after weeks of not calling, weeks of not caring, the most crucial weeks in this struggle when I needed someone the most and no one was there. No one cared, except for Brigida, who emailed every week and let me talk it out. So yeah, I'm peachy, my walk is peachy, everything is great. Let's just look at the past few weeks in review...

1) My uncle decides to talk to me for the first time in two years. Yeah, who was there or even found out about that?

2) I had to hand over my future and everything I thought I knew, changed.

3) It was five years, and no one remembered. No one remembers the event that changed my life forever. No one really remembers or even knows that it was five years that Cameron died.

4) I dealt with my daddy issues that no one has ever thought to ask about. I'm not sure there has been one person who has ever asked about it.

5) I failed. And there is no bigger way to describe that. There is nothing that will make that better. There is no way that someone can walk in and understand.