this is the suckiest feeling in the world.
my friend is moving to freaking texas, and by the end of the week, she will be gone. its like one of the worst feelings in the world. I knew she was going to be moving but i was suprised when i heard in a freakin week. Every part of my humanity is screaming that i don't want her to go, but i have to let her go. and a lot of other people are gonna have it worse off with her leaving, but that doesn't mean it makes my struggle any easier. its like, life just wont be the same without her.
School is absolutely stupid. and my eyes hurt.
I want to trust god but i feel like I am failing him too much. Its my fault and I'm messing everything up, and i want to trust him but I'm afraid to misrepresent him.
And I know this is the gayest subject to talk about but boys are stupid. its like, how would you like to feel like your guy friends only hang out with you for another girl. well that is how I feel and I wrote this nice long letter to one of them but I'll probably never deliver it becuase it might jsut mss everythingup. But understand this, its not meant to offend him. he is offending me rightnow, and i don't want him to do that. is it selfish to not want to let him put me through this crap.
oh i'm tired of it all. but i want christ to shine through me. how am i supposed to do this?
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Whe Jesus heard that, he said, "This sickness is not unto death but for the glory of God, that He might be glorified thereby."
-John 11:4
We might think that Tamara's leaving is a sickness but im convinced that she is going to do something great out there. We just need to keep her in our prayeres and when she comes back we'll ask her and i bet that something great will have happened! This is for God's glory not our own!
On the subject of this guy-Do you want me to take him down!!?! Ill level him to the ground!
-Josh
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