His glory must be raised above man's good. This weekend was my third OCC trip to Juarez, Mexico. God never ceases to amaze me as he perfectly orchestrates our trip and the people we interact with. This trip especially held certain meaning for me this year. With the occurrences in my life it is easy for me to get sidetracked and just have a hard time dealing. I went into this trip expecting God to change me completly. and he did, but not in the way i intended. it is hard to explain, becuase I'm not perfectly sure i know how I feel after it is all said and done. Yesterday morning I finished 1st thessalonians and started on Ecclesiastes once again. And in thessalonians I read this "May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. may your whole spirit, soul body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. the one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."

Maybe you can start to understand my thoughts. that last verse stuck out to me. "the one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." I know that I love mexico and I know that I love missions, and I was praying constantly as I sat in the hospitals, the gym, and the schools about how God would show that this was his will. And I was reassured that he calls me to something and whatever that is, it will happen. he is calling me to something greater than myself and i want to leave a legacy and I want to be near to God, no matter what that looks like. I want Him to reveal Himself to me.

this year specifically stood out to me in one aspect-the glossed luster of missions was not there. Don't get me wrong, my heart burns and yearns for God's face to be seen in these people's lives. But it looked different this year. I didn't have that spark of "Omigosh i am in mexico and these people are so poor." Its indescribeable. I felt bad for them, but I knew that I could provide nothing for them but the opportunity to know Christ. and that is all that matters. My heart burned for these people we were ministering to more than ever, but it wasn't glossed and artificial. It was the long-lasting feeling I get when I am in the presence of God. I viewed these people as my own and I wasn't pertrubed by them, I smiled at their dirty and dry faces because God is working in them. and honestly, i love them more than anything.

His will will be done.

Holy Fire

Burn away,

my desire for anything

that is not of you

but is of me

I want more of you

and less of me

empty me, empty me,

fill me, with You, with You

Until later,

sarah